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Be careful of falling for familiarity, warns psychologist Perpetua Neo, because narcissists are familiar. They are dangerous and they don't fit well, but I am used to them. So I feel safe in them but actually I could fall and they could kill me. Some people find themselves being attracted to narcissists time and time again. This could be because you are a highly empathetic person , and narcissists are highly skilled at reeling you in and abusing your sympathy and generosity. One psychological theory for why we fall into habits is called repetition compulsion.

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This is where we have a tendency to repeat situations that feel familiar. For example, if someone grew up with a verbally abusive parent for whom nothing they did was ever good enough, they may then subconsciously seek out romantic relationships with angry, dismissive people to try and fix the unresolved issue with a different person.

Relationships with narcissists can be so damaging to their victims that they start to question reality.


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Over time, the victim will believe everything that went wrong in the relationship is their own fault, even though it was the narcissist who was impossibly demanding and emotionally draining. When their narcissist discards them, particularly psychologically vulnerable people may end up with another, and then another, when the relationships do not work out. They will be trying to repair all of their old broken relationships with people who are impossible to reason with, and find themselves in a cycle of destruction. Comfort is different.

When you are comfortable with someone, it means you are relaxed enough around them to be who you are. Excitement is important too, but it should be balanced with the feeling of stability.

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You shouldn't feel like you're about to teeter off the edge of sanity at any moment. If you like to have fun, if you like to tease and play, that might be higher on your agenda. But some people like to be very serious, then they have to be comfortable enough to be serious. Ultimately it comes down to respect, and knowing whatever opinions you express, whatever you find funny, or engaging, or insulting, your partner will listen to you, whether they agree with you or not.

Is there space for your similarities and your differences?

One of the best ways to experience and understand other cultures is to actually live among them. One of the biggest difficulties to overcome in understanding cultural differences is making judgements based on one opinion. Do your own research and make an effort to actually learn about people, instead of making broad-brush assessments.

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The main thing to remember is that everyone, no matter what their cultural background, has different opinions, habits and ways of life. The sooner you accept that everyone is different, the easier it becomes to understand and embrace cultural differences. This can help if: you want to embrace cultural differences you want to learn ways of understanding cultural differences you want to learn how to talk to people from different backgrounds.

Different experiences Australia is becoming more multicultural, which means that people and traditions from other countries and cultures are becoming more noticeable and celebrated.

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Someone Different by Kate Hanney

Ways to understand cultural differences It can be very easy to stick with what you know, rather than trying to meet people who are different from you. Do your own research Learning about different cultures can be a great way of developing an understanding of cultural diversity. Talk to someone from a different cultural background Try and get to know them a bit better. Everyone is unique The main thing to remember is that everyone, no matter what their cultural background, has different opinions, habits and ways of life. What can I do now?

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Work on your self-awareness.